Bloopers in Church Bulletins

• Due to the Rector's illness, Wednesday's healing services will be discontinued until further notice.


• The Rev. Merriwether spoke briefly, much to the delight of the audience.


• On a church bulletin during the minister's illness: GOD IS GOOD; Dr. Hargreaves is better.


• Applications are now being accepted for 2 year-old nursery workers.


• The pastor will preach his farewell message, after which the choir will sing, "Break Forth Into Joy."


• If you would like to make a donation, fill out a form, enclose a check, and drip in the collection basket.


• Sermon Outline:
  I. Delineate your fear
  II. Disown your fear
  III. Displace your rear


• Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on "It's a Terrible Experience."


• Don't miss this Saturday's exhibit by Christian Martian Arts.


• We are grateful for the help of those who cleaned up the grounds around the church building and the rector.


• A worm welcome to all who have come today.


• Barbara remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and requests tapes of Pastor Nelson's sermons.


• During the absence of our pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.



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• Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.


• The ushers will come forward and take our ties and offerings.


• The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Reverend and Mrs. Julius Belzer.


• The eighth-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement on Friday at 7 p.m. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.


• Don't let worry kill you off - let the church help.


• Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.


• Let us join David and Lisa in the celebration of their wedding and bring their happiness to a conclusion.


• Helpers are needed! Please sign up on the information sheep.


• Diana and Don request your presents at their wedding.


• The concert held in Fellowship Hall was a great success. Special thanks are due to the minister's daughter, who labored the whole evening at the piano, which as usual fell upon her.


• The outreach committee has enlisted 25 visitors to make calls on people who are not afflicted with any church.


• Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 to 8:30p.m. Please use the back door.


• The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.


• The audience is asked to remain seated until the end of the recession.


• Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.



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• 22 members were present at the church meeting held at the home of Mrs. Marsha Crutchfield last evening. Mrs. Crutchfield and Mrs. Rankin sang a duet, The Lord Knows Why.


• The choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.


• At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?". Come early and listen to our choir practice.


• The third verse of Blessed Assurance will be sung without musical accomplishment.


• The music for today's service was all composed by George Friedrich Handel in celebration of the 300th anniversary of his birth.


• A song fest was hell at the Methodist church Wednesday.


• Today's Sermon: How Much Can a Man Drink? with hymns from a full choir.


• Hymn: "I Love Thee My Ford."


• Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again" giving obvious pleasure to the congregation.



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• Women's Luncheon: Each member bring a sandwich. Polly Phillips will give the medication.


• Announcement in the church bulletin for a National PRAYER & FASTING conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting and Prayer conference includes meals."


• The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.


• Ushers will eat latecomers.


• Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.


• Weight Watchers will meet at 7 p.m. Please use large double door at the side entrance.


• Potluck supper: prayer and medication to follow.


• Next Friday we will be serving hot gods for lunch.

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